Ubuntu maker, Canonical, announces new employment interview process
Now with twice the number of essay questions.
London, UK — Canonical, the company behind the popular Ubuntu Linux distribution, has announced an exciting, new interview process for potential employment candidates — with over double the written essay questions.
“We’d heard some recent complaints about our interview process,” stated Canonical CEO, and part time cosmonaut, Mark Shuttleworth. “Obviously, those criticisms are due to only having 37 written essay questions required before the actual interview is scheduled. Only 37! Can you believe it? Preposterous! Time to fix that!”
The new Canonical Interview Process (tm) includes 75 essay questions — allowing the candidate the privilege and honor of writing between 12 and 20 pages on a variety of topics, including:
How would you describe your Junior High School experience in between 500 and 1,000 words?
During Junior High School, what was your least favorite subject? How did it impact your life?
List all of the people that disliked you during Junior High School. Include their reasons for believing you to be so uncool.
“There are over 20 Junior High questions,” boasted Shuttleworth, adjusting his ascot. “We have determined that the best possible way to evaluate the Linux and engineering skills of a candidate is to find out as much about their time in the 7th grade as possible. And, if it turns out they were a good Junior High student, they might just be allowed to interview for a Linux job!”
Satire? Yes. But only just. Here is the current list of essay questions that Canonical asks. This part? Less satire.
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Speaking as someone who applied to Canonical in late January and got rejected outright without being given any chance, I would *rather* have been given these essay questions for a change.
Yeah. I applied to Canonical. Did that part, then they require an IQ test type thing. Half way through that, I just got bored and realized that if they require all this before speaking to me, they probably have a toxic workplace culture. So… I just kind of quit the application process.