Microsoft acquires Daniel Radcliffe in historic $73 Billion deal
Suggests MS-Radcliffe integration with Call of Duty, World of Warcraft.
Hot on the heels of Microsoft’s $70 Billion dollar purchase of video game powerhouse, Activision Blizzard, the company has announced yet another acquisition for an even higher price tag.
Pending Federal approval, Microsoft will pay $73 Billion dollars to acquire Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe.
“We are excited to add MS-Radcliffe to our portfolio of amazing Microsoft products,” stated Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadela. “In the near future, we intend to add Radcliffe to popular Activision Blizzard games… including as a playable character in Call of Duty, and as a new race in World of Warcraft. We call them The Radcliffians.”
During the press conference, one Microsoft executive suggested that the company may also be looking to revive the Microsoft Office Assistant line (often known simply as “Clippy”) with Radcliffe replacing the popular paperclip.
When asked about this possibility, Radcliffe stated, “I see you’re grappling with the crushing weight of Microsoft purchasing everything you love. Would you like some help with that?”
This is satire.
… Right? Somebody please tell me this is satire.
Current subscriber exclusives for The Lunduke Journal:
Full pass to LundukeFest.
eBooks: Lunduke's Dad Jokes About Computers, vol. 1, Linux for Hank (kids book), Half a Decade of Linux-y Shenanigans, Lunduke Journal Quarterly - Volume 1, Paper Doll Tux, Road-Sign Hank & the Aliens (comic book), Operating System Not Found (choose your own adventure)
Games: Linux Tycoon (Linux, Windows, DOS), 2299 (Linux, Windows)
+ Exclusive Podcasts, Articles, & 24x7 Telnet BBS Access
You can also support The Lunduke Journal by purchasing and collecting exclusive NFTs:
Tux on Tour - Pixel Art Tux visiting classic Operating Systems and Software.
The Lunduke Journal Collection - Exclusive comics and other pixel art from The Lunduke Journal.
Like this one: