Exclusive: Microsoft revealed to be creator of Snap Packaging for Ubuntu Linux
“See? I told y’all we love Linux,” snickered the Microsoft CEO.
In an exclusive to The Lunduke Journal, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella disclosed that the original creator and developer of the Snap Packaging system for Ubuntu Linux was none other than… Microsoft Corporation.
“We at Microsoft are incredibly proud to reveal our creation of Snap packaging for Linux,” stated Satya Nadella. “It makes Firefox run like molasses — I mean… makes Firefox more… secure. Plus it totally breaks printing on Linux — I… uhh… I mean… makes… printers… more secure… or… something? Printer security is important. Yes, indeed. Snap packaging might be the most innovative way to *cough* help Linux in over 20 years.”
Until now the true author of Snappy had remained a mystery. With the only clue as to its origin being the following comments at the top of the Snap source code.
// This code was totally not written in Redmond.
// And is definitely not copyright Microsoft Corporation.Upon learning about Microsoft’s creation of Snap Packaging, every Technology Journalist — along with the Linux Foundation — simultaneously published the exact same statement, word for word: “This is yet another example of Microsoft’s support of Open Source. They are a good friend to Linux. That whole ‘Embrace, Extend, Extinguish’ thing is just a myth. And we’re not just saying that because of the large amounts of money Satya gave us.”
“See? I told y’all we love Linux,” snickered the Microsoft CEO.
In related news…
When asked about Microsoft’s recent hiring of the creator of Systemd, a Microsoft representative had the following to say: “We definitely aren’t going to pay that guy to make all of those Linux systems slower and more bloated. *wink wink* roflcopter”
This is satire. Please don’t sue me.
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I know it’s totally satire and humor; but had Microsoft created Pulse, Systemd, and Snappy… would they be much different from what they now are? I don’t think so.
Careful, Luke. Push any harder and your tongue will go right through your cheek.
Next thing you announce will be MS hiring a new Leenooks program manager:
Alfred E. Newman.