CDC issues warning as man dies after being trapped in Vim for 34 days
911: "We get it. Vim is hard to exit. Stop calling. We can't help."
The Centers for Disease Control has issued a nationwide warning to stay clear of the text editor, Vim. This new warning comes on the heels of the death of a Los Angeles area man who passed away on Wednesday morning after having been unable to exit Vim for 34 straight days.
“This is the first CDC warning issued for a text editor,” stated Merideth Terne, Chairperson of the Centers for Disease Control. “But this crisis has reached epidemic proportions. We had to act.”
The most recent victim appears to have been stuck in Vim for 34 days, before finally succumbing to dehydration. The un-saved text file, which he was editing in Vim, contained over 14 Megabytes of variations on “/q”, “Control C”, and “Exit”.
One of his co-workers, the last person he spoke with before becoming stuck in Vim, related his story to The Lunduke Journal.
“I was just messaging with him,” stated the co-worker of the most recent victim. “He had just discovered Linux and installed Ubuntu. He was so excited. After reading some instructions on a forum, he ran Vim. That was the last time any of us heard from him. Do I blame Ubuntu? You bet, I do. Why do they even ship Vim? It should be a crime. It’s time for some common sense text editor control.”
A representative for 9-1-1 made the following statement:
“We ask that, at this time, people refrain from calling 911 for Vim related emergencies. We get it. Vim is hard to exit. Stop calling. We can't help. Nobody here knows how to exit Vim, either. We’ve lost three 911 dispatchers, to Vim related injuries, this month and are already stretched thin.”
Is this satire? Yes. Yes, it is. But could it really happen? Could it?!
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