Breaking: Linux company SUSE sold to Taco Bell
SUSE had previously been owned by Micro Focus, Novell, Attachmate, EQT, and Phil Collins.
In a move that had been widely predicted for several months, Linux pioneer SUSE has announced its immediate acquisition by Taco Bell.
“The level of corporate synergy here is simply astounding,” stated SUSE CEO, Melissa Di Donato. “They make the Mexican Pizza. We provide Software Defined Infrastructure and Cloud Deployment Solutions. Combining the two was a no-brainer.”
Industry analysts had long predicted that SUSE would be sold to a new company during 2022. “The company was last sold in 2018. And four years seems to be just about the sweet spot,” stated one analyst to The Lunduke Journal. “Any more SUSE than that… well… it’s just a bit much.”
Prior to this purchase by Taco Bell, SUSE had previously been owned by several different companies. Including Micro Focus, Novell, Attachmate, EQT, and (for a brief stint in the mid 1990s) Phil Collins.
To celebrate the deal, Taco Bell has announce a new “Chalupa Cloud Combo”, which comes with two Chipotle Cheddar Chalupas, a large Dragon Paradise Sparkling Iced Tea, and one month of cloud services support for SUSE Linux Enterprise.
Immediately following the announcement, rival Linux company Canonical (makers of Ubuntu), issued the following statement:
“We at Canonical would never do something so insane as joining forces with Taco Bell. That is a merger that simply makes no sense whatsoever! What were they thinking?! A Linux company and… tacos? Ridiculous! I mean, come on. If Linux should be allied with any food, it would be the Flame Broiled Whopper. A quarter pound of savory flame-grilled beef topped with juicy tomatoes, fresh lettuce, creamy mayonnaise, ketchup, crunchy pickles, and sliced white onions on a soft sesame seed bun. Now that. That makes sense.”
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