Breaking: Linus steps down, Oscar named new Linux maintainer.

"When a grouch gets asked, by the king of grouch himself, to yell at people on a mailing list? You say yes!”

On Tuesday morning, Linus Torvalds sent shockwaves throughout the computer industry when he announced, at a press conference, that he would be resigning his role as the maintainer of the Linux kernel, which he created, effective immediately.

“And, because I created this darn thing,” stated Torvalds. “I get to appoint whoever I want to replace me. And I choose Oscar the Grouch.” At which point Torvalds dropped the microphone on the ground, kicked over the podium he was speaking at, and did three Elvis-style air guitar strokes before saying something that nobody could hear due to him having dropped his mic.

“Big deal,” stated Oscar, as he popped the lid off his trash can, which nobody had noticed hiding behind the now horizontal podium. “Hey, let’s get this over with. I’ve never used Linux. I’ve never wanted to use Linux. But when a grouch gets asked, by the king of grouch himself, to yell at people on a mailing list? You say yes!”

Oscar then declared “Interview over! Now scram!” and abruptly ducked back into his can, slamming the metal lid shut.

Mister The Grouch wasted no time in getting to work, approving the first pull requests submitted to him a short 10 minutes after the press conference ended.

“What kind of stinky, disgusting code is this!? This will never compile cleanly! It’s garbage! Absolute trash,” wrote Oscar in an email to the Linux Kernel Mailing List. “Pull request merged! More! Send me more trash code!”

When asked for comment on how this change might impact the future of Linux, well regarded Tech Industry Analysts — Statler and Waldorf — supplied this statement to The Lunduke Journal:

“What change? Oh-ho-ho-ho!”

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