Breaking: Google announces new messaging service it cancelled three days ago

"This new product was so good that it was worth cancelling even before we announced it."

Google today announced an ambitious new messaging platform — which they claim could revolutionize the industry — three days after cancelling it.

“When I saw the first internal demo of our new messaging platform, I immediately knew… this is the kind of quality, revolutionary product that we, at Google, will cancel,” stated Google CEO Sundar Pichai. “In fact, this new product was so good that it was worth cancelling even before we announced it.”

“Nobody cancels a product quite like Google,” stated one industry analyst to The Lunduke Journal. “Glass, Pixel, Allo, Newsstand, Currents, Reader… the list of cancelled Google products is nothing short of inspirational. By cancelling this new service prior to announcing it, Google is blazing new trails in the product cancellation industry.”

At market close, the stock price for Google parent company, Alphabet, traded up as investors reacted to strong reports of future product cancellations.

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