Linux and Microsoft announce marriage [SATIRE]

Linux and Microsoft were married, at 2pm this afternoon, in a modest ceremony.

"Microsoft declared our love for Linux almost six years ago," stated Satya Nadella, CEO of the company. "To be able to make this long term commitment, here among our family and friends... it just means so much."

"It's about time Microsoft made an honest woman out of Linux," said Linus Torvalds, father of the bride. "Now how about some grandkids? I ain't getting any younger ya know!"

During the ceremony, one objection was raised to the union.

"What you're betrothed to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux," the unnamed, bearded objector is reported to have shouted before being escorted out of the chapel.

The couple is registered at Crate & Barrel.