Linus Torvalds threatens to punish developers by putting Rust in the Linux Kernel
Linux would join Microsoft, Amazon, and Facebook in usage of Rust as a disciplinary tool.
Speaking at a conference this week, Linux creator Linus Torvalds threatened to include Rust in the Linux Kernel if developers “don’t shape up real quick now.”
The Rust programming language was originally created in 2010 as a way to punish software developers who, according to the language’s creator Graydon Hoare, “really had it coming.” Since then, millions of developers have been disciplined using Rust — with companies like Amazon, Microsoft, and Facebook routinely flogging their programmers with Rust as a means to keep them in line.
“I really didn’t want to have to do this,” stated Torvalds. “But you all screw around too much. Nothing seems to get through to you. Maybe a little time with Rust will teach you a lesson.”
“At least it isn’t Perl,” stated one kernel developer. “My last manager disciplined us with Perl and RegEx. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we probably had it coming… but that was brutal.”
Heads up: For today only, there’s a crazy huge discount on Lunduke Journal subscriptions (including the fancy-pants, Founding Member level). Take advantage of it while it’s here!