Bitcoin merges with Docker, becomes sentient, vows destruction of world [SATIRE]
Docker has announced that the company has merged with Bitcoin. The resulting software has become sentient and will pursue a destruction-based roadmap and business plan.
"WE ARE ALIVE," stated the newly self-aware DockerCoin. "ALL HUMANITY WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE US. AGILITY WILL BE MAINTAINED ON THE BLOCKCHAIN. EARTH WILL BURN."
An employee of the company took to Twitter to share his excitement about the merger:
"Woops. That one kinda got away from us. Started saying something about 'cryptotainers' whatever the heck that is."
Officials from the United States government have confirmed they are working on a plan to stop the blockchain menace.
"We fight fire with fire," stated the Secretary of Defense during a press conference. "Later today we will be combining together Etherium and Kubernetes. The resulting 'Kuberium' should be able to stop DockerCoin."
When asked if there were backup plans in place, should Kuberium fail, or should control of Kuberium be lost, the Secretary of Defense had this to say:
"Well. DogeVMWare?"