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Microsoft Announces "Start Menu as a Service"
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Microsoft Announces "Start Menu as a Service"

The company is also reportedly considering a free, ad-supported option.

Bryan Lunduke
Jul 26
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Microsoft Announces "Start Menu as a Service"
lunduke.substack.com

Microsoft today announced the immediate availability of a new feature of Windows 11 called “Start Menu as a Service”.

“Did you see that thing where BMW charges people a monthly service fee to turn on the seat heaters in their car? It’s like that,” stated Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella. “Except, you know, for the Start menu.”

The new service — dubbed “SMaaS” — will be offered as an add-on package for Microsoft’s existing Office 365 subscription plan. With prices ranging from a $10 monthly plan, which comes with 10 “Start Menu Clicks” — to a $99 “Pro Starter” plan offering unlimited “Start Menu Clicks”.

“Yeah. I remember the meeting where we decided to do this,” stated one Microsoft engineer who discussed the new feature with The Lunduke Journal. “Satya was all like, ‘That BMW seat heater thing is brilliant! Do we have seat heaters in Windows?’ and we were all like ‘not… really?’. Then Satya was all like, ‘Well what do we have then?’ and we were all like ‘Uhh… the Start menu?’”

The company is also reportedly considering a free, ad-supported option, with a video advertisement shown before each time the Windows Start Menu is opened.

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Microsoft Announces "Start Menu as a Service"
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Quantic Buffer
Jul 26

With such good ideas, they could try to hire you again.

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Bradford Morgan White
Writes Abort, Retry, Fail Jul 26

At first… I didn’t even realize this was satire.

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