Bill Gates announces new project: Turn poop into Taquitos [SATIRE]

The Microsoft founder continues to save the world through the transitive property of excrement.

Having solved the world's water problems by spearheding the revolutionary “Turn Poop Into Water” technology, Bill Gates is turning his attention to another crisis… the shortage of taquitos.

“I was at Taco Time the other day, and they were out of taquitos,” related Gates, astride his white steed. “A taquito shortage! That’s when it hit me! I solved the water crisis by taking ordinary poop and, through the power of science, turning it into delicious drinking water! I bet I can do the same for taquitos!”

The genius Billionaire has begun a media tour, promoting his new “Not-Poop-Anymore” (tm) taquitos. His first stop: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

“Hey Jimmy, try this taquito,” offered Gates.

“Mm, that’s a good taquito, thanks Bill,” Fallon said upon taking a large bite of the piping hot taquito.

“It’s poop!” exclaimed a proud Gates.

With both water and taquito shortages solved, the Microsoft founder is not resting on his laurels.

“I hear there's a computer memory shortage,” mused Gates. “Hmm. I wonder…”