Apple forced to rate repairability of hardware; Gives self High Fives, Fist Bumps [SATIRE]
Compelled by French law, Apple has published an exhaustive (and definitely not biased), index of the repairability of all Apple products, including the iPhone and MacBook lines. This is the first such repairability reporting under a new French law.
Changing the hard drive in a MacBook, for example, earned a self-given score of "5 Thumbs Up and a High Five."
"This is the highest repairability marks ever given, by Apple, to a MacBook," stated Tom le Pomme, a representative from Apple France. "This proves Apple's dedication to repairability. Following a simple, 17 step process -- involving only 14 screws, of just 6 different types -- anyone can replace the hard drive in their revolutionary MacBook!"
The new iPhone 12 Pro Max earned an Apple-given score of "a Couple Fist Bumps and one of those AAAYYYYs like Fonzie does."
"You wouldn't believe how easy it is to change the battery in the groundbreaking new iPhone 12 Pro Max," continued le Pomme. "Anyone with a heat gun (to melt the glue), a patented AppleTorx Wrench X (tm), and a clean room can do it in under 5 hours!"
When asked to evaluate Apple's repairability self-ratings, popular YouTuber and Right to Repair advocate Louis Rossmann's head exploded.